“That’s not a videogame,” I hear you screaming in burning rage at your computer monitor, hot spittle causing dead pixels to appear. No, it’s not, but it is something fun for a Thursday afternoon. Calm down and look at Mattel’s interpretation of game developers as part of their new, more diverse range of dolls.
Of course, if you ARE here for digital entertainment, here are the best PC games ever to satiate you.
The Evolution of Barbie was announced today as part of Mattel’s plan to update their most famous range of dolls to something a little more aware of current culture. Far from every single one being a medium height, thin, blonde, white girl, they’re expanding to include three new body types and a more diverse batch of dolls all round. Good for everyone, from collectors who will have even more variations to buy through to young women who want a doll that’s more like them.
Including if they want to be game developers, which is getting Barbie’s much lauded (we assume) Career of the Year slot. It’ll be hitting stores this summer and looks like this:
Let’s break it down:
- Jeans, t-shirt, trainers and open jacket – game developer mainstays, this could only be more accurate if the t-shirt has the logo of the game she’s making on it, or an obscure reference to an 80s action movie. Preferably both. Phil Spencer/10 on this one.
- Headphones – a must have, I don’t think I’ve taken mine off for three years and I only write about games. Mic optional, but a nice touch for working in teams. Is Barbie indie, or has she sold out to the publishers straight out of university? More investigation required. Clearly they’re wireless, Barbie’s not afraid to live in the future.
- Hair and glasses – Dye is very realistic, but having them match is a big misstep. Game developers don’t have time to colour co-ordinate. Fellow PCGN detective Matt was debating if the hair was dreads or just very thick. Conclusions pending on that, but it definitely wouldn’t be games if she wasn’t in glasses. I’ve been wearing fake rims for a decade just to blend in.
- Giant blue cylinder of mysterious purpose – Standard. They’ve all got these.
- Laptop – Vital, though you’d hope there’s a hefty desktop addon sitting back home. Coding window on the right (could be Javascript?) with whatever she’s making on the left. Looks suspiciously like They Bleed Pixels – is that canon within the Barbie multiverse? The only thing it’s really missing is Twitter and an endless stream of misogynistic hatemail for daring to exist.
Overall: good work by Mattel. If you (or your kids) want one, you can read more about them on the official site.