Cancel the Olympics. Everybody out of London. Pack away the hurdles. Put all that longjump sand in this bag. I don’t care where you put it, just get it out of my sight. Athletic festivities are cancelled because Blizzard have just destroyed the Spirit of Competition, the every-other-yearly event invented to celebrate the 2008 Beijing Olympics. Back then, if you were victorious in any battleground you’d have a chance of picking up the Spirit of Competition, a tiny dragon pet who’d follow you around and look a bit Chinese. For London 2012 we get nothing. Not even a grubby pigeon pet with mangled, scabby toes.
The news of Spirit of Competition’s Olympic no-show was tweeted by Blizzard community manager Zarhym, who says they’ve been too busy focusing on the Pokémon-styledPet Battles update to Mists of Pandaria to create a new London-themed Spirit of Competition. What a shame! Just imagine what new companions they could’ve created, given the rich culture of the Olympic home nation:
- A two-foot tall LOCOG brand officer. Auto-discards any items in your inventory not officiallyendorsed by London 2012 sponsors, reports you to Blizzard over and over
- A tiny black cab. In exchange for gold will ferry you to any town at a fraction of your character’s walking speed
- The Coca-Cola ribbon. Gently flaps against the faces of enemies, who receive a “type-2diabetes debuff” lasting for the rest of their lives
- Half-size Boris Johnson. Cannot be dismissed once summoned, just babbles constantly and can never ever be stopped
- A cheeky wisecracking knife. On summoning has a0.1% chance to auto-shank somebody in your group
- A jellied eel? I don’t know