Assassin’s Creed may be series about stabbing, gutting, slicing, and dicing but you’d hope with a subject like pirates that might be time for a lighthearted sea shantie or two. Not the case, it’s all brooding melodrama, violence, and shots of a lady’s thigh. Because violence ain’t violence unless it’s seasoned with a smidge of titillation.
Can’t we have just one “Yo ho ho”? Instead we get tragic tales of lady executions and men being devils to lead men to victory over other men in the name of freedom. All while looking gloomy and sad about the fact they’re pirates with silly names like Blackbeard, Redbeard, Bluebeard, and Nobeard.
C’mon, just one song?