Assassin’s Creed IV’s PC release was delayed due to unforeseeable tragic circumstances: one of the monkeys responsible for writing the game’s code onto CDs using a very small pen was struck down with incurable wrist cramp. The monkey’s farewell party took far longer than expected, delaying production of the PC version of Assassin’s Creed till 22 November.
To make up for this delay, and to honour the 15 years of service supplied by Mr Biggins, Ubisoft are releasing Assassin’s Creed in more flavours than even a breakfast bar could reasonably stock.
There’s, of course, your bog standard vanilla version of the game. The Standard Edition will be available in brick and mortar shops and through digital downloads. If you’re the sort of person who doesn’t like thrills (i.e. start your day with bran flakes) this is the version for you.
If you can take a little flash with your game then the Digital Deluxe Edition release may be for you. It comes with extra locations, items, and a new quest line where you play as Franco-African pirate Aveline. If this version of the game were a breakfast cereal it would be the mixed-bag muesli. Four parts bran, one part delicious raisins.
The Uplay Digital Deluxe Edition is for those that want to be a little more exclusive than the people who want to be higher on the hierarchy of gamers than the standard version owners. They get all the content that the Digital Deluxe Edition owners receive but, because they bought it through Ubisoft’s own Uplay store, they’re rewarded with a tiny bit extra DLC: the Pride of the West Indies. It’s like you’ve taken that muesli and sprinkled it with cinnamon. “Take that, owners of plain Jane Muesli!” you could say. “You’ve got nothing on our cinnamon coated cereal.”
Ubisoft don’t just cater for the bland breakfast bunch. Oh no, there are two collector’s editions, too.
There’s the Skull Edition. It has all the action of the digital releases but it also has physical trinkets. The sort that you can swap with other kids in the playground. Think of them as the pogs that came in the cereal box. It comes with an art book (it doesn’t say if it’s a colouring book but it’s yours so no one can stop you doodling in it), two lithographs, the soundtrack and a fancy pants box.
You say Skull Edition, Ubisoft, but I hear Coco pops.
Finally, there’s the Buccaneer Edition. There’s no cereal equivalent of the Buccaneer Edition. It’s breakfast pancakes if ever I saw it. In it you’ll get all the contents of the Skull Edition and an Edward Kenway figurine just to outdo the owners of the Skull Edition. Just look at it all.
All these different versions of Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag will be available from 22 November, a little less than a month after it came out on the consoles. For Ubisoft, that’s actually pretty good.