There are a great many nuances to acting and being perceived as manly, however choosing the exact size of your penis and punching a tree to death are about as route one as it gets. You would assume then, that Simon “will lift for chicken and broccoli” Miller would love it more than he loves creatine and laughing at people who do cardio. Sadly, that’s not the case.
For more crafting and dying to woodland critters, check out the best PC survival games.
Instead of Conan: Exiles being all about oily bodybuilders slaying sorcerers and grunting, it’s actually about surviving. You know, kind of like No Man’s Sky - we all know how that turned out. Watch Miller head out into the desert in search of Arnold Schwarzenegger only to die at the hands of thirst, then a weird stone creature, then a crocodile, then a muscly sprog thing, and finally - and most humiliatingly - another man. It’s basically just Miller coming to terms with the fact that the game is nothing like the movie for twenty minutes. What doesn’t sound great about that?
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