Looking for the dildo weapon in Cyberpunk 2077? In the gritty dystopia of Night City, gangs terrorize citizens on the filthy streets while corpos sip champagne in glittering skyscrapers above them. If you’ve got the urge to smack them all round the head with a gigantic veiny dong, you’ve come to the right place.
The dild in question is called ‘Sir John Phallustiff’ – a reference to Sir John Falstaff, a lecherous knight from a few of Shakespeare’s plays. It’s also a Cyberpunk 2077 iconic weapon – which means you can upgrade it throughout the game; even as you level up, your generously sized marital aid should always be by your side.
Fortunately for your foes, the weaponised peen does non-lethal damage – perfect for those sensitive jobs where you need to keep your target alive. It’s also a blunt weapon, so will be buffed with Cyberpunk 2077 perks from the Street Brawler skill tree, should you choose to commit to the chub club throughout your playthrough. The version we found had 313.5 DPS, and an empty melee mod slot. Here’s how to get your very own – be warned; there are Cyberpunk 2077 story spoilers ahead.
Where to find the Cyberpunk 2077 dildo weapon
Your golden opportunity comes courtesy of Meredith Stout, the Militech corpo who you meet during ‘The Pickup’ mission. If you ended things favourably with Meredith – by killing Maelstrom so she can recover her shipment – she’ll send you a flirty text later down the line, which will initiate the ‘Venus in Furs’ quest. She’ll ask you to meet her at the No-Tell Motel for a passionate romp, and after the Cyberpunk 2077 romance scene concludes, you’ll find she’s left behind Sir John – perhaps as a gift. Lucky you. Once equipped, you’ll notice the phallus emits a low, steady buzz, which gets louder as you swing it deftly through the air, like a turgid, fleshy lightsaber.
If you’re somehow left unsatisfied by the dildo club, perhaps you’d like to unlock the Cyberpunk 2077 mantis blades, or opt for a different style of Cyberpunk 2077 build.