Just when you think your day can’t get any weirder, you’re browsing adult (to put it mildly) site PornHub in search of leaked Fallout 4 footage. There was a private show of some saucy shooty-bangs at Gamescum Gamescom last week that wasn’t meant for our pure, innocent public eyes. Some enterprising young fellows naturally managed to capture it on one-handed shakycam, light blooming everywhere so it’s barely recognisable, but there’s definitely a bit where someone takes it full in the face.
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Naturally, everywhere it’s been uploaded has been taken down by a quick strike from Bethesda’s legal team. The one port in the storm was and is, at time of writing, Pornhub. The video is available under the title of “HIDDEN CAMERA SHOWS AUDIENCE TEASED BY BIG BUTT MAN IN TIGHTS LIVE” because if you’re uploading to Pornhub, that’s just what you do.
I’ll decline from linking to it directly because, well, that’s a line in the hot white sand even my innuendo-dreched fingers won’t cross, but here’s a Reddit thread that does. Unless you want to be bombarded by meat-smoking screengrabs, I’d recommend some sort of ad-blocking software. You can also switch the related videos to the premium tab and click the larger player button next to full-screen, which should just give you the nice orange-on-black layout without any of the other … stuff.
Ahem.
If you’d rather not explain exactly what you think you’re doing, young man, to your parents/significant other/cat/dog/passing strangers, a brief description of the footage is some VATS and non-VATS blowing away of various enemies with some of Fallout 4’s signature crafted weapons. There’s various laser blasts, the dog is there and attacks some zombie chaps, then goes to look for loot. He’s still really adorable. The shooting looks infinitely better than Fallout 3, while much of the rest is the same, though Gamebryo’s certainly more capable of handling a basic walk cycle these days.
Honestly, it’s probably not worth the hassle to barely see through two men’s shoulders on the world’s worst camera. But it is very, very funny. See you all at church on Sunday, yeah?