Reports coming in from across the internet suggest that intergalactic menace Thanos is “dangerously close” to having all of the Infinity Wars think pieces in his grasp, and attaining ultimate power over life and death.
Our sources claim that Thanos quickly devoured such pieces as ‘Who is Thanos? Infinity Wars villain explained’ and moved on to pieces like ‘What Infinity Wars says about gamer culture,’ before tearing through ‘Which Infinity Wars character is most like Elon Musk?’ as if it were nothing.
The ancient villain has been hunting for thinkpieces for aeons, long before mankind was born. And thanks to the recent efforts of pop culture and gaming websites, he is now closer than ever to achieving his goal.
With Thanos rapidly growing in power and strength, site editors are working overtime to delete any unpublished think pieces currently loaded into their website content management systems ready for publication this week, desperate to keep him from reaching his full potential.
A crack Avengers-style team of game journalists was assembled to fight back against Thanos, but unfortunately only made him stronger after one of them accidentally wrote ’20 reasons why Thanos is the best Marvel villain in years’. As a result, the entire team was destroyed before anyone could tackle an op-ed on Thanos’s latest rebalancing in Fortnite.
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