There are several important factors to consider when initiating the perfect kiss. The first is consent: ensuring that your kissing partner is ready and willing to suck a wet, reciprocal gasp out of your sloshing cheeks. The second consideration is more scientific and involves adjusting your velocity and approach vectors, making sure you’ve got all the angles down.
Sprinting towards your partner’s lips like a sexy greyhound is a risky tactic that can pay dividends, as is backflipping off a shed on to their face, but it’s usually better to glide in at speeds closer to the sombre pace of a helium balloon in a light breeze, bellowing your salacious intentions as you go. It sometimes helps to imagine that your entire face is a car and that you’re parallel parking in a sort of “mouth-driveway”.
If you’re still concerned about your technique however, you can now practice kissing in Realistic Kissing Simulator, a two player webgame all about snogging.
Realistic Kissing Simulator encompasses the whole of the kissing process, from the initial holding of the hands and the requesting of the kiss, to the granting of the consent and — arguably the most important part of kissing — getting your tongues all tangled up in one another and licking an eyeball.
It’s a joke, and because chances are you’ll play it alone by using your two hands to control both on-screen tongues, it’s ultimately a poignant and distressing illustration of isolation in the human condition. Haha.
Thanks Indie Statik. x