Mortal Kombat X launches in April, but it’ll be without Goro unless you pre-order it

Mortal Kombat X Goro

Mortal Kombat X is due out next year, in April. The UK release date has been confirmed as being April 14th. What’s been shown off so far look exceedingly promising, particularly the various – extremely distinct – combat styles that the kombatants will employ to sear flesh, blow off body parts and other lovely things. 

Unfortunately, the lovable four-armed brute, Goro, who first appeared as a boss in the original game, and has been a playable character since Mortal Kombat trilogy, is being held back as DLC. To get him at launch, you’ll need to make a pact with particular retailers, and he’ll presumably reappear as premium DLC later. 

What other characters should be stripped out, I wonder? 

Raiden


We already know Raiden is in the game, but does he deserve to be? I think he’s living a lie. He pretends to be an Chinese deity, but is in fact French. He fights with many a scantily clad, young warrior – of both genders – but is himself an old man and probably would look gross without a shirt. And those magical lightning abilities, seriously? Who does he think he is? Thor?

Stryker

Mortal Kombat sees the greatest warriors of two worlds duke it out in apocalyptic battles. And one New York cop. Not just any cop, though; Stryker is the personification of douchiness. The swagger, the backwards baseball cap – you just know he’s been involved in more than one sexual harassment complaint.

Liu Kang

Thinks he’s a big shot, saving the world and junk. Makes shrill noises like a rodent being punched in the face. Are we not all tired of Liu Kang devastating our ear drums and driving our dogs mad? And all that twitching he does begs the question: should Mortal Kombat really be making a hero out of a hardcore cocaine user?

Kung Lao

Obvious Oddjob rip-off.

I’m sure there are others that don’t deserve a place, or perhaps should be relegated to DLC. So if I’ve missed any, be sure to let me know in the comments.

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