Well this is the creepiest thing I’ve seen all morning. nVidia have a long-held penchant for showcasing the capabilities of their graphics cards by turning all of their polygons into a single, sexy, dead-eyed butterfly woman before repeatedly crash zooming in on her face, panning around her normal-mapped, sub-surface scattered breasts and generally hoping they’d made their graphics so realistic that you attempt to climb into your monitor, destroying the screen and the moth-lady you loved so dearly. The result, instead, is a hilarious decade-old artefact of a pubsecent, sweaty-dicked games industry, the latest iteration of which can be seen below.
Here’s the video, which demonstrates the GeForce GTX in action. nVidia’s ten year old sex-fairy has 40,000 individually renderered strands of hair compared to the original’s 1,700, which is definitely a quantifable improvement. She’s also got sub-surface scattering, which diffuses light in just the right way to create more realistic looking skin.
Here’s the original Dawn, to show just how little progress we’ve made.
And here is – I’m not joking – Dawn’s twin sister Dusk doing a dance because graphics cards.
Here’s a thought, nVidia: if you truly love Dawn, perhaps it’s time to let her go and stop sleazily marketing your products to an invisible audience of wanking children. I mean, come on, your graphics cards are good.