Red Dead Redemption 2 is probably going to come to PC. Someday. Eventually. But even though that port will mean additional graphical fidelity with greater hardware horsepower, every version will benefit from greater horse hardware power.
Yes, Red Dead 2’s brings a more detailed simulation of horse genitalia than I’m frankly comfortable with, and after everyone giggled about dick physics in that first trailer some of the people invited to a recent preview event decided to ask the burning question.
Specifically, Stephen Totilo writes “After seeing the game’s first trailer, we and other had wondered if the horse’s testicles were animated. I asked, and they [Rockstar] told me that the testicles shrink and expand depending on the temperature in the game world. Details, details.”
That’s not the only horse-related detail mentioned in Kotaku’s preview, of course. There’s also poop – along with various breeds, and the ability to build a bond with your steed over time and teach it skills like skidding stops and dressage-style side steps. Presumably, none of that bonding involves testicles, but this is a Rockstar game.
The Red Dead Redemption 2 release date is just over a month away – if you’ve got a PlayStation 4 or Xbox One to play it on. If you’re waiting for Red Dead Redemption 2 PC, follow that link for a selection of rootin’ and tootin’ cowboy games you can play in the meantime. (Horse dong fidelity not guaranteed.)