The Last of Us 2 confirmed for PC “just to piss off PlayStation fans”

The Last of Us 2, one of Sony’s most anticipated exclusives, will come to PC on its release at the end of next month, it’s been announced.

Hermen Hulst, boss of PlayStation Worldwide Studios since Shaun Layden’s departure last year, says in a press release that: “The time has come to end console exclusivity. In no other medium does this happen – it’s not like you can only listen to Rammstein on a Samsung phone and Bieber on an Apple phone, and yet bizarrely, that’s how it is in our industry. (Obviously PlayStation is Samsung – the one with the good content – in this analogy.)

“There may have been understandable technical reasons for this in the past but it’s 2020, not 1990. As the underlying hardware gets more similar and easier to develop for, the dream of all gamers united in the same ecosystem is now achievable. It’s time for gaming to tear down its own Iron Curtain, for us all to join those handsome PC gamers in the promised land of endless backwards compatibility rather than to jealousy hoard our special toys like greedy corporate Smaugs, and we at Sony will not stand in the way. I call on my colleague at Xbox in turn: Mr Spencer, help me tear down this wall. And annoy our fanbases. Lol.”

The news is a bitter pill to swallow for loyal PlayStation gamers, coming so soon after the announcement that Horizon Zero Dawn – which has been exclusive to the PlayStation 4 for over three years – will also come to PC. That decision was received with understandable ire (seriously – what – is – wrong – with – you), and this latest announcement is going down no better among Sony fans, who are usually even-tempered, affable sorts happy to support their first-party developers as long as their games have enough puddles.

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David ‘PS4TheWin’ Stewart, who owns every PlayStation console including a cardboard PS5 he made himself and just likes to stare at sometimes, tweeted: “Like it or not, exclusives have been a selling point for consoles ever since my ancestors sacrificed our young to the fiery Circle button in the sky.

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“It doesn’t matter that meaningful competition on their intrinsic qualities has been declining for ages and basically ceased with this generation or that we’re all playing on repackaged PCs now anyway. Never mind that growing their audience is an obviously sensible thing for developers to do – I only defend market principles like competition when it means I get to play with a toy and other people don’t. I have built my identity on my purchasing choices and so must insist they be validated at all costs.”

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Meanwhile Pete ‘SonyPonyBigDick’ Harvey was able to take out his dummy and put down his rattle long enough to say: “Waaaaahhhhh.”

In the press release, distributed at midnight on April 1, Hulst concluded: “Lol. Banter.”