Total War: Attila trailer shows why Attila was a terrible dinner host | PCGamesN

Total War: Attila trailer shows why Attila was a terrible dinner host

total war attila trailer video creative assembly sega

I went to one dinner where everyone ended up with food poisoning which saw them blasting semi-fluids out of two major orifices (orifici?). It’s the only time my bum’s had an affinity with a dolphin’s blowhole. As bad as that dinner was, it doesn’t compare with the dinner hosted by Attilla the Hun in the new Total War: Attila trailer.

Someone needs to sit down with Mr The Hun and explain your role is to make introductions, provide an inoffensive meal, and make sure no one goes home too drunk to drive. You don’t poison everyone, arrange their bodies in chairs, and then burn down the city. At least, that’s not how I was raised.

How this dinner play into Total War: Attila, a game of grand strategy and tactics, I can only guess. Maybe its a new sub game within the Total War stew, you already have a campaign map, real-time battles maybe this will be Creative Assembly’s take on Cook, Serve, Delicious! You play Attila, a young restauranter trying to make his way in the world by catering for Roman geneals. Maybe, it’s a special in-game event where all the ancient world leaders down tools once a month to share a meal and talk about politics, what’s on at the theatre, and their concubines.

Only time will tell, and we don’t have long to wait, Total War: Attila’s release date is February 16. If talk of defecating blowholes hasn't put you off Attila for life you can read my Total War: Attila preview.

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Mackles avatar
Mackles Avatar
Mackles(35 days 13 hours played)
3 Years ago

I do believe he killed most of them with arrows, rather than poison. He doesn't want to go ruining good Roman wine with poison, now does he? Particularly when you consider the guys who make it probably have their heads stacked in neat little pyramids across the smouldering remains of Europe.