Well gosh... gawsh... gawrsh... there we go. Well gawrsh, PCGN (that's getting the right intonation in your head), I've left the deal dump all late at night. Are you ready for a deals blitz? A deals quick attack? A deals dexterity based, dual-wielding class that's all stealthy like? 'course you are, you're faster than a speeding bullet and the light at the end of the tunnel that is this late shift. I believe in you. Let's go.
Crusader Kings 2
Look at that gigantic map and tell me you aren't just a little bit turned on. In a computer sense, literally power flowing through your body so you can play a new video game. That's Crusader Kings 2, and it's 80% off on Steam right now as part of the Paradox mega-sale. We'll be featuring another of their games next, but first: why should you care about CK2? Doesn't it look all hard and filled with maps?
Well it's only one of the best strategy games ever (according to Fraser) and the sort of thing that when you play it not only do you feel smarter but you're basically learning history at the same time. I mean, it's a history where Italy invaded southern France in the early 1600s over a couple of sheep and a poorly thought out marriage, but it's definitely history.
It also teaches you politics, geography, military strategy - it's a deep game, filled with fake knowledge that will definitely help you maybe someday possibly. Particularly if you plan on running a continent-spanning dystopic society in the future. Gotta be worth a pop at £5.99/$7.99/€7.99, to be honest.
If your ambition is more mayor than European warlord, perhaps Paradox's other total smash hit is for you? Cities: Skylines is half-off at £11.99/$14.99/€13.99 for the weekend as part of that same super-deal and it is well worth the money. I am a complete non-builder man and even I've been tempted by the tales of efficiently running garbage routes and well managed water supplies. And that's saying something, given the furthest I ever got into SimCity 2000 was that one pre-scripted sequence where you could watch aliens blow up a massive city as you 'tried' to stop them.
I was a vengeful and merciless child.
There's even a night-based expansion on the way for Cities, which Fraser put his preview specs on for a week back. Worried you might get bored of what the base game has to offer? We've got you covered with our best Cities: Skylines mod guide too.
Best Humble Bundle... ever?
Navigating to the Humble website each time I've done one of these has been a lesson in what that dude from Far Cry 3 was talking about. 'Oh boy, oh boy, what will it be this time' I think to myself, before inevitably discovering 15 games, none of which I've heard of except for the A+++ star everyone already owns and the two that are so legendarily mediocre Phil Hartup and Rory Porteous have mentioned them on Twitter.
Not so this go round. Even in the pay-anything section you've got the wonderful Sir, You Are Being Hunted, the best robots-with-shotguns-and-tea simulator out there for the aspiring teleporter. Venture just out of that and the first tier of unlocks three games that I not only don't own but actually want to play in indie fighter Skullgirls, classic-XCOMalike Xenonauts and RTS problem child Planetary Annihilation.
And hey, if you've got $10 lying around, Gang Beasts is very well respected, even if I personally think it's the most overrated game since Niddhogg and Dark Souls decided to play Hotline Miami together. And you thought you weren't going to be leaving any angry comments on this one, eh? I've got your number, internet hordes.
Metro Redux Bundle
We'll end with some of those shooty bangs you've heard so much about but have never tried. The Metro games were surprisingly big hits when first released, with the second receiving serious acclaim. They've been remastered since their 360 days to be all the prettier and released as a bundle, which you can grab off Green Man Gaming for £16.99 and equivalents.
They're best described as for that little bit of STALKER fan that's in you but never got on with the no-structure approach of those games. In the post-apocalyptic wasteland/sewers/metro system of Russia, you battle mutants, bad men with guns and fear to try to ... you know, I don't actually remember. There's certainly a save-the-world/station element in there, but I think it's mostly about how fucked everything is and how much you really need another meal.
The shooting's solid, the art's grim and the world is lovely and unique. Not one if you're looking for smiles, but a great ride nonetheless.
That's your deal dump lot for this week. No sign of that parrot anywhere.