Team Fortess 2 Update: Pyromania – Day 1 – UPDATE 2- Poopy Joe Files


I KNEW it. Valve will finally be debuting Meet The Pyro in less than three days. According to the countdown clock, it’ll be 50 hours from the time this blog post goes live. Until then, Valve will be showing off the rest of the update, starting with a new map and game-mode.

The new game mode iscalled Doomsday. According to Valve: ‘Doomsday pits BLU against RED, with only one team getting the honor of transporting a suitcase nuke full of recalled Mann Co. Australium to American monkeynaut Poopy Joe’s rocket, so he can blast off and hunt down Soviet space chimp Vladimir Bananas. It’s the same spirit of competitive enterprise that stalled the moon landing by three years when Buzz Aldrin suplexed Neil Armstrong into a pile of folding chairs at Astromania ’69! Both teams will attempt to get the necessary fuel up a preposterously slow-moving elevator and into Poopy Joe’s Australium-powered rocket to the stars.’

Now do the teams fight over the suitcase, or is one team defending the rocket from the other delivering the case? Either way, it’s an interesting twist on ‘Capture The Flag’. It comes with 11 map specific achievements. There are two more days of updates to come: I’m scanning the site for hints as to what they might be: more weapons for sure, Meet The Pyro as well.

We’ll update this post as we figure out what easter-eggs have been left inside the update page.

The big question: will this finish with a reveal of the long teasedMann vs Machine mode?

Valve have started to mess with the page. Below the 3rd gauge on the Pyromania page some text appeared and then vanished. We screencapped it.

“DO NOT xxxx Until you watch the XXXX”

It looks less like a secret and more like a mess-up on Valve’s behalf, quickly rectified.

Not long after going live, Valve updated the page with some more background information on the Monkeynaut known as Poopy Joe. If you click the Banana at the bottom of the Pyromania page, you’re taken to the Poopy Joe files. Along with the text of the hearing that was already released, there is some redacted information from a second defendant. Her name is blanked out, but it is the Team Fortress 2 Administrator. She actually admits to what they’ve been up to regarding poor Poopy, but her testimony is so awful it’s been stricken from the record.

Something bad has happened to Poopy Joe.