That unplaceable dripping noise that’s been bothering you all morning? Yeah. That’s the sound of your face melting. Unfortunately, PC gaming has been in the throes of one long, Marty Friedman-style shredsome solo since a pair of Brütal Legend promo items were unshackled from their Beelzebubian prison yesterday and allowed to tear through TF2 like dogs at a picnic.
The items, released in celebration of Brütal Legend’s long-awaited PC release, are available to those who pre-purchase on Steam before February 26th.
The first is a Brütal Bouffant (pictured), the tea towel ‘do first sported by Double Fine protagonist and roadie Eddie Riggs. Valve scholars have scribbled that its brutally heavy all-class sideburns and mullet combo was “hand-sheared from the manes of Icelandic headbangers, woven with sigil-encrusted knitting needles of occult significance, and air-mailed straight out of hell”.
The second is the Shred Alert, a Level 5 Special Taunt, which sees the player pull out a guitar, harness the power of the Dark One (Yngwie Malmsteen), and crush their opponents with “blistering riffs, lava-hot licks and emotionally crippling power ballads”.
Also introduced in yesterday’s patch were the Buck Turner All-Stars, a nifty pair of high-top sneakers available in team colours for Scout and Demoman. They’ll be gifted to those who pre-purchase BIT.TRIP Runner2 by this time next week.
For more, see the always-excellent TF2 Wiki.
And now, if you’d be so good as to scream with me: DECAPITATION! [AND SPOILERS]