Until today, not one human being alive had legitimately earned one of Steam’s rarest achievements. Now, however, the platform’s achievement hunters are finally able to unlock an achievement attached to The Stanley Parable.
The Stanley Parable, in case you’ve somehow forgotten, is an interactive storytelling game. You play as the titular Stanley, exploring your workplace while a narrator reacts to your every move. I’m not going to say too much more, because it’s the kind of game that you either already know about, or need to make sure you don’t get spoiled. Trust me though, it’s very good.
What I can talk about, however, is the game’s achievements. They’re all a little silly – one tasks players with quitting the game and opening it back up again, while another asks you to play the game for 24 hours during a Tuesday. One achievement is simply awarded to certain players at random. The most notable achievement, however, is ‘Go Outside’ – which simply tells players to “not play the game for five years.”
The Stanley Parable first came out on October 17, 2013 (although the initial version of the game was made available for free in 2011). That means that today is exactly five years since its initial release, meaning some of the game’s earliest adopters can now legitimately earn their new achievement for the first time.
There was, of course, a way to cheat the system. Several players have already unlocked the achievement by setting their computer’s clock forward five years. That tricks Steam into thinking that you haven’t played in half a decade, granting you your prize as soon as you boot up the game.
There’s obviously no way to differentiate between those players who have legitimately earned the achievement and those who cheated their way to it, but I’m hoping the latter group now feel some shame at their actions. It’s worth pointing out that while the achievement is now available for people who played the game on its release date and haven’t touched it since, the rest of you will have to wait until your own five-year anniversary. I, for example, will have to wait until the end of next year to unlock the achievement for myself.