Goat Simulator 1.1 is live; patch notes should be put in a museum

Goat Simulator 1.1

Goat Simulator’s 1.1 update fell from the sky today. The most notable additions to the goat-based carnage sandbox are the brand spanking new area – accessible through the “custom game” section – and the ability to team up with another goat via the magic of split screen co-op.

There’s all sorts of trouble two young, virile goats can get up to in the big city. Coffee Stain Studios has kindly put together a trailer showcasing some of the relaxing activities on offer, from riding around on bikes with penguins to skateboarding and falling over. 

Patch notes have a tendency to be a bit dry, but nobody could accuse Goat Simulator of treading worn ground. So Coffee Stain Studios has taken the novel approach of taking the absolute piss with the 1.1 patch notes.

Highlights include:

  • The humans have been given a brain with the cognitive abilities of a 4 year old
  • Poured several buckets full of Optimization™ into the game
  • This woman made her skin look 20 years younger DOCTORS HATE HER click here
  • Fixed the hitbox of flappy goat
  • Reverted hitbox of flappy goat
  • Made hitbox worse on flappygoat
  • Removed Flappy Goat, I hate that fucking game.
  • Got 11 points on Flappy Goat; readded Flappy Goat.
  • Spent more time writing jokes about Flappy Goat than working on the patch
  • Wanted to add shadows to buildable blocks but couldn’t figure out how, can someone please tell us?
  • Played a whole lot of Wildstar
  • We actually bought a stuffed goat head IRL for our office, we have no idea what to do with it.

The list goes on. It’s amazing.