Hitman 3, like the previous two entries in the World of Assassination trilogy, doled out some tantalising targets including none other than Sean Bean himself. But there was one ‘guest’ target we were denied and it’s fallen to a fan-briefing to finally put Charlie the Chocolate Factory’s Willy Wonka in 47’s sights.
Hitman 3, since rebranded as Hitman: The World of Assassination, is a superb conclusion to 47’s story. And with the addition of Hitman’s Freelancer mode, this stealth murder sandbox game is as good is it can get. Well, nearly.
There are a couple of things missing from Hitman 3’s current incarnation. Firstly, it lacks Hitman: Blood Money’s push mechanic, which let you shove people around at will. And secondly, you can’t murder Willy Wonka.
Granted, Roald Dahl’s estate might object to the bald, bar-coded assassin offing one of the author’s most memorable characters, but he’s a perfect fit for Hitman 3. He’s an eccentric, reclusive billionaire who’s normally out of reach and his shocking lack of safety standards must have cost at least a few dozen lives. And now, Hitman fans have been given a taste of what could be.
YouTube creator ‘Hydraulic Beanbag’ has put together a wonderfully on-point mission briefing, based around an earlier audio fan audio clip. Dubbed “The Chocolatier,” this intro to an imaginary Hitman 4 level sees Diana, 47’s handler, explaining how Wonka controls 83% of the global chocolate market. This, presumably, leads the remaining 17% to hire him to put an end to Wonka’s monopoly.
How can 47 get to Wonka, who’s been locked up in his factory for decades? It just so happens there’s a competition and… yes, this goes exactly where you’d expect it to. This is one disguise I never imagined I’d see 47 in.
This is all pretty tongue in cheek, but the more I think about it, the more I want this to be real. Who wouldn’t want to wander around Willy Wonka’s factory, incapacitating the other guests?
And then, when it’s just you and Willy… well, as seen in the various Charlie and the Chocolate factory movies, there are a lot of hazards in that place and not many handrails.
Could this happen? Potentially. Developer IO Interactive would have to deliver a Wonka-adjacent character, but I’d absolutely throw money at them. But they’ve mostly moved onto their Bond game so I doubt I’ll get the candycentric murderfest I’m craving.
If this has you wanting to dive back into the game, here are our Hitman 3 shortcuts. Or if you’re in the mood for more sneaking, here are the best stealth games.
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