A mere thirteen days ago we had a little competition to give away five copies of the absurdly wonderful slightly demented game Surgeon Simulator 2013. Read on to find out the winners of the competition!
On that fateful day, Sir Jeremy of Peel set out to give you a task. It is written here, as of yore:
“If you were to invent a new organ and have it planted deep inside your body, what would it be? And why?“
We are giving the following lovely entrants a prize, for their answers were the mostest interestingest.
Mr ‘wrapman‘ thought of a ‘Steambladder’. “The Steambladder. It gives you a sensation in your fingertips whenever there’s an outragous Steam sale going on. With the Steambladder, all my money would be gone by tommorow.” I too need to know when to empty all my money on Steam. Although I am not sure I want a bladder for it. What would happen if your fingers stopped having any sensation in them? Would you wet yourself? Every time I give a Valve game a 2/10 they’d just have a Steam sale and I’d promptly piss myself in Pret a Manger. And there is a cute guy there I like.
Wrap it up Mr Wrapman you have won a game about surgeons.
Entrant ‘Swiket‘ told us: ‘I would reorganize the female reproductive system and replace the fallopian tubes and the uterus with “Wrigley’s Capsule”. Instead of menstruation, the egg slides out like a gumball machine.’
I am not going to lie here, Swiket slightly scared me by beginning ‘I would reorganize the female reproductive system’ which did remind me of some sort of Nazi scheme, however as I read on I did agree that fallopian tubes can be massively tiresome, and menstruation is way less tasty than gumballs. Although I don’t know whether the eggs are actually gumballs in this scenario, and also it would add the weird moral caveat that you might find yourself thinking your own eggs looked very tasty. Also I don’t know if Swiket knows but there is also the matter of the womb lining, making this entire idea totally gross and NOW I AM STOP THINKING YOU WIN GOODBYE
Mr ‘HereWeGo‘ thought that there should be a button to simply eliminate awkward boners. This would be very useful in morning times when you have to sign for a parcel. A WINNER
‘yankeesniper57‘s ‘MORON SENSOR’. So, I do want to remark that your language is incredibly ableist and you must think harder about not using exclusionary words. However, an organ with a “sixth sense” that can sense when someone is a meanie would be very nice. “Then the individual would know not to waste their time listening to anything they had to say. This… would also work well when meeting a potential partner. Normally, it might take a woman months or years to realize that a guy is full of it, and vice versa, but now people could find out if they could live with a person before they even meet them.” I think you have invented a romance organ, instead of a ‘moron sensor’. Basically what you are saying is that you would like to implement electric shocks to yourself every time you try to sleep with a dickhead. Well HURRY UP AND INVENT IT I WOULD FOR DEFS BUY IT here have a game American assassination fifty-seventh person.
Lastly, the eminently pronouncable ‘T3om6m9y‘ said “I would make an organ that would shoot a sticky rope when I wanted it to be like a grappling hook. I would call it the… STICKLOSIS ORGAN.”
What.
Anyway. You are very inventive. Have a game you weird stickyman.