For those who don’t know, let me tell you about the Dopefish.
The Dopefish is the second-dumbest creature in the universe. Its thought patterns go “swim, swim, hungry… swim, swim, hungry…” It was created for 1991’s Commander Keen: Goodbye Galaxy, the fourth episode of the classic PC platforming series. And it became a meme before such things really existed, cropping up as a loving in-joke in dozens of later games, especially those also made by id Software.
With the news that Commander Keen is being resurrected as a – cringe – mobile game, it’s got a whole new look. And that, tragically, extends to the Dopefish. I generally try to be open-minded, even about reboots of precious childhood memories on platforms that mean nothing to me, but the Dopefish’s original design is so magnificently stupid as to be genuinely iconic. You’ve got to be careful with this stuff, and, well. Look at the new one. Its eyes are on antennae.
Check it out at 49 seconds into the official announce trailer below:
We’re far from the only people who have concerns. Turns out Dopefish has a Twitter account, and despite having only 370 followers, it’s managed to go semi-viral, with almost 200 retweets in an hour for its reaction to its new look:
What the hell is this shit? pic.twitter.com/PXJwOsg68p
— Dopefish (@Dopefish) June 10, 2019
Well, indeed. Entitlement is an ugly emotion, but it is a bit galling to see classic properties used to prop up mobile games that seem likely to be shallower given the nature of their platform and business model. One story to emerge from last year’s E3 was Command & Conquer’s resurrection as a free-to-play mobile game, which was equally saddening – but at least we’re getting Command & Conquer Remastered as well (and in the spirit of fairness, I’ve heard Rivals a pretty good example of what it is).
What to reinvent next? Check out these classic PC games
We’ll have plenty more from E3 2019 on the site – our staff are on the ground in Los Angeles and covering the conferences from our UK office, so stick around for the latest news.