Diablo 3 is a Stardew Valley-style farming game – bet you didn’t see that coming. Turns out when you search the game on UK Google the search engine classifies it as more of a cosy, laid-back experience; yet, that doesn’t ring true, does it?
When you think of farming games, you likely conjure up images of blissful green Stardew Valley-esque fields, or adorable Harvest Moon-style animals (in my case, I think of Slime Rancher 2 slimes).
What you don’t think of is, well, Diablo 3. Characterised by blood, guts, and a whole lot of gore, Blizzard’s classic ARPG is pretty much the polar opposite of relaxing. Take your eye off the ball for a second, and you’ll be slaughtered, painting Sanctuary’s once-emerald vistas with your blood and internal organs.
Turns out Google has never played Diablo 3 (I’m not particularly shocked, to be honest) as the search engine is classifying the hack and slash adventure as a farming sim. Yes, seriously.
I spotted this during my morning news perusal, and have been trying to rationalise it ever since. I have multiple different conspiracy theories, but I am well aware that it’s probably just Google being a bit silly.
Firstly, as a Witch Doctor main I can confirm you do, in fact, accrue a vast number of different creatures. Perhaps when you’re not slaying demons, your creepy character spends their time playing with and looking after their menacing menagerie, and we just don’t see it on-screen.
A second idea is that you technically are farming up demons to slay them, so maybe you’re basically just playing the role of a really, really violent sheep dog.
Finally, during The Darkening of Tristram event, you can collect Wirt’s Leg and access Diablo 2’s secret cow level. Additionally, in 2015 Blizzard added the ‘not the cow level’ to Diablo 3 – so maybe Google just thinks that Diablo 3 is, indeed, about farming cows and not massacring their moo-niacal leaders.
If you reached the end of this article, well done. I’m relatively sure one of the above theories is correct, but the truth is we’ll never really know. Maybe it’s Diablo screwing with Google, or maybe Diablo 4 is actually a farming sim and we just don’t know it – the possibilities are endless.
While you ponder this lifechanging discovery, be sure to check out our list of the best games like Diablo you can play on PC, as well as the best Diablo 3 builds to help you live your Witch Doctor farming sim fantasy.