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Nutaku confirms gaming chairs are for wankers

Nutaku Gaming Chair

Never let it be said that purveyor of adult gaming grint, Nutaku, isn’t up on modern gaming trends. It’s spied a 33% increase in the gaming accessories market and has decided that gaming chairs are the perfect product for its particular brand of support. So yes, in the US and Canada, the Nutaku Gaming Chair is now a thing, a thing that is going to cost a huge amount of cash because it has decided that wankers are happy to spend $435 on a gaming chair.

Specifically on a gaming chair that has been tuned to nail optimal positioning for the twin pillars of gaming and masturbation. Not only that, but Nutaku is promising Nutaku Labs is “currently working on perfecting a gender-inclusive pleasure attachment in aims to heighten players’ self-indulgence.”

That’s something the company has teased in its “outrageous launch video” which I’m refusing to link here on the grounds of decency. But if you absolutely have to see the full high-school video project horror the product page linked above will see you right. It’s not that I’m offended by the liberal use of synthetic blood and jism, but it does feel like a rather disingenuous way to try and sell what is, in all probability, a very generic gaming chair. We’d still rather have a gaming chair with wings

Despite the fact the Nutaku Gaming Chair has been finished in the company colours – black and hot pink – there’s nothing to separate it from the thousands of chairs that have gone before it, all claiming to be made for gamers. Though this is the first specifically made for wankers too, it’s likely still come from the exact same factory in downtown Shenzhen.

Nutaku Gaming Chair

“The gaming chair includes adjustable back and a comfortable neck pillow,” says the press release, “to achieve optimal posture for both gaming and masturbation. With features such as tilt capabilities, the striking design provides lateral support and weight distribution, permitting gamers to comfortably settle into any position they please to heighten their lewd gaming experience.

“Furthermore, the full recline feature responds to the skepticism towards masturbation in a seated position, ensuring longer periods of uninterrupted gameplay and magnified satisfaction.”

We don’t know how much the promised ‘pleasure attachment’ will cost in the future, what form it will take, or whether it’s actually an entirely empty promise just to make the wanking gaming chair worth writing about, but Nutaku is warning that we should expect it early next year.

But, whether real or not, the potential existence of the ‘pleasure attachment’ has got us to write about it. So, who’s the real wanker?

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