There are some articles that I never expected to write when I entered this industry four long years ago. I take my newswriting craft very seriously, and have always considered myself grounded and well-disciplined; a bastion of quality, one might say. Which is why, today, I am bringing you this news piece on Palworld‘s new X-Rated pal. What is life? Lovander don’t hurt me.
In Pokemon, there’s Gardevoir, but in Palworld – the new creature-focused survival game from Pocketpair – there’s Lovander. A huge, pink salamader-esque creature with a massive love heart on its chest, it’s a neutral-type pal that has, erm, caught fan’s attention.
Coming in at number 69 in the game’s Paldex (I wonder why), Lovander is said to be, according to the in-game text, “seeking a night of love.” I’m sure it just means having a cuddle with some other Pals, right?
Wrong. “Seeking a night of love, it is always chasing someone around. At first it only showed interest in other Pals, but in recent years even humans have become the target of its debauchery.” I don’t think I need to say much more, do I?
Well, turns out there is, indeed, more. According to PCGamesN’s guides squad, Lovander drops the rather aptly named ‘strange juice’ and ‘suspicious juice’ when it dies, as well as some cake. I wouldn’t suggest eating it, that’s for sure.
“Are all Lovander female?” asks one player on the game’s official Discord. “Or are there Lovander with massive… you know?” I have no idea what they are alluding to, do you? Even the official Palworld fandom page’s ‘Trivia’ section has a bulletpoint that simply reads “This Pal wants to be more than a pal ya feel me dawg.” Enough said.
As much as I am, to quote my mother, shocked and appalled by the things I am seeing, I can’t help but laugh. Pocketpair knows exactly what it’s doing, and honestly, I love it – not like that, to clarify.
If you’re planning to dive into the bizarre universe of Palworld to play the game entirely platonically, we have a list of all of the Palworld pals, as well as how Palworld breeding works. Yes, this was intentional, and yes, you’re immature for laughing – but I’m not judging, don’t worry.
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