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Gorge yourself on The Witcher 3’s first 15 minutes

The Witcher 3 video

The Witcher 3 will launch next month, if CD Projekt Red don’t change their minds again. If you want to dive in blind, then bugger off now. IGN’s posted a video of the first 15 minutes of Geralt’s latest adventure, kicking off right after the introductory cutscene. 

If you don’t mind a few wee spoilers, then go ahead and direct your eyes below. 

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If you don’t have time to watch, then don’t fret. Here are some of the highlights, but beware of spoilers.

  • Geralt reveals that he’s never even been to Rivia. He should be addressed as Geralt of Shrewsbury.
  • Using a fluffy teddy bear, Geralt teaches a group of children the best way to slice open a werewolf to get to the delicious innards. “Eat the large intestine and gain its power,” he tells them.
  • The dynamic beard is shown off in all its glory. Its grows quickly. Too quickly. The pale tendrils wrap themselves around Geralt’s neck and squeeze. Some of them pry open his mouth and slide down his throat. He makes it to a barber just in time, and the beard hunter manages to slice off the monstrous facial topiary.
  • Geralt makes a new friend: a three-legged dog called Duke. It follows him for the rest of the game, occasionally making wry remarks about the area the duo are wandering through.
  • Geralt stands for election to teach a town the importance of voting.
  • Terrified villagers pay Geralt to hunt down a coven of demon-worshipping witches. He ignores them and arm wrestles a bald man for the rest of the demo.

The Witcher 3 launches on May 19th.