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EVE Online

I showed my EVE Online spaceship designs to CCP, here's what they thought

EVE Online

EVE Fanfest 2014 has entered its second day, with super important keynote presentations about the future of the space sandbox MMO still to come. Yesterday I flew a virtual spaceship in EVE Valkyrie, and in the last hour CCP announced a PC version of Dust 514, but today I had the chance to talk to Josh Bayer, one of EVE Online's game designers.

Bayer is responsible for overseeing the development of all of the spaceships in EVE Online, so with that in mind I presented him with my own personal ship designs, which I had carefully doodled twenty minutes before our meeting. Here's what he had to say.

Dog Spaceship

PCGamesN: I'm a big fan of dogs. This is a dog spaceship. How would you implement this into EVE Online?

Josh Bayer: Very nice. We actually already have a ship called Cerberus in the game right now, and it's very similar to this. It's a missile shooting ship, a medium-sized cruiser that's pretty fast and lobs missiles from long-range. But obviously this Cerberus is a very fast ship too.

PCGN: Well it's got thrusters on each paw.

JB: Yes.

PCGN: Okay, next one. I know that one particular ship in EVE Online is notorious for looking quite phallic.

JB: Hah! Yes, the Thorax.

PCGN: Well I've designed the Mark II version. Here it is.

Thorax Ship

JB: Oh man, our players would love that. This would be the most popular ship in the game, hands down. That's always the big concern with anything we do in the game, we have to be aware of the TTP of it, the Time To Penis. 

It's generally very fast. We introduced in our Rubicon expansion a new set of mobile structures that the players can deploy and have appear as a little icon in space. The TTP there was about 45 seconds. Players loaded up the server, immediately built the things, headed out of the main trade hub station and started placing them into a giant penis structure.

PCGN: Incredible! Okay, last one. I don't know if you're a Star Trek fan, but as we're in Iceland I've designed what I like to call The Björg Cube.

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Rob Zacny's picture
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Pretty shoddy journalism if you ask me. Steve just ignores the obvious questions: why does Iceland have all the electricity? Have they harnessed the power of volcanoes? Or the tides?

Does Iceland have a nuclear facility and, if so, are they using it to construct a nuclear arsenal? Will they one day be like, "We have The Bomb. We control the world's aluminum supply. Checkmate."

The signs are there! Wake up Sheeple! Ask the real questions, Steve! The ones THE MAN doesn't want you to ask.

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A real life tyrannosaurus rex's picture
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Mostly geothermal but also some hydroelectric and fossil fuel.

So yes, quite literally they harness the power of volcanoes.

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Belimawr's picture
384

they don't need a nuclear weapon they just poke the volcano and everyone in the world is stranded.

they also own the worlds supply of prawn rings.

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Tovias's picture
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So they are building real life space ships with the aluminium or not?

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Empyre's picture
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I'll never look at a Thorax in the same way again! :(

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Kacho Mio Akiyama's picture
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This is one of the stupidest articles I have ever read. I lost brains cells looking at the stupid drawings, that wasted the dev's time

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Dog Pants's picture
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I hope Steve takes this as a massive compliment.

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Fraser Brown's picture
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But did you like it?

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Jonah The Bear's picture
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I thought it was very informative, I learned some eve history and some things about iceland's industry

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