Discover how to colonize, build and achieve victory in this Civilization: Beyond Earth trailer

EVE Online is altering the laws of physics to allow capital ships to fit through stargates

You might find a ghost on your toilet in Sims 4 this month, and in your pools in November

EVE Online

I showed my EVE Online spaceship designs to CCP, here's what they thought

EVE Online

EVE Fanfest 2014 has entered its second day, with super important keynote presentations about the future of the space sandbox MMO still to come. Yesterday I flew a virtual spaceship in EVE Valkyrie, and in the last hour CCP announced a PC version of Dust 514, but today I had the chance to talk to Josh Bayer, one of EVE Online's game designers.

Bayer is responsible for overseeing the development of all of the spaceships in EVE Online, so with that in mind I presented him with my own personal ship designs, which I had carefully doodled twenty minutes before our meeting. Here's what he had to say.

Dog Spaceship

PCGamesN: I'm a big fan of dogs. This is a dog spaceship. How would you implement this into EVE Online?

Josh Bayer: Very nice. We actually already have a ship called Cerberus in the game right now, and it's very similar to this. It's a missile shooting ship, a medium-sized cruiser that's pretty fast and lobs missiles from long-range. But obviously this Cerberus is a very fast ship too.

PCGN: Well it's got thrusters on each paw.

JB: Yes.

PCGN: Okay, next one. I know that one particular ship in EVE Online is notorious for looking quite phallic.

JB: Hah! Yes, the Thorax.

PCGN: Well I've designed the Mark II version. Here it is.

Thorax Ship

JB: Oh man, our players would love that. This would be the most popular ship in the game, hands down. That's always the big concern with anything we do in the game, we have to be aware of the TTP of it, the Time To Penis. 

It's generally very fast. We introduced in our Rubicon expansion a new set of mobile structures that the players can deploy and have appear as a little icon in space. The TTP there was about 45 seconds. Players loaded up the server, immediately built the things, headed out of the main trade hub station and started placing them into a giant penis structure.

PCGN: Incredible! Okay, last one. I don't know if you're a Star Trek fan, but as we're in Iceland I've designed what I like to call The Björg Cube.

Login or Register
4
+4
-0
Rob Zacny's picture
28

Pretty shoddy journalism if you ask me. Steve just ignores the obvious questions: why does Iceland have all the electricity? Have they harnessed the power of volcanoes? Or the tides?

Does Iceland have a nuclear facility and, if so, are they using it to construct a nuclear arsenal? Will they one day be like, "We have The Bomb. We control the world's aluminum supply. Checkmate."

The signs are there! Wake up Sheeple! Ask the real questions, Steve! The ones THE MAN doesn't want you to ask.

2
+2
-0
Belimawr's picture
425

they don't need a nuclear weapon they just poke the volcano and everyone in the world is stranded.

they also own the worlds supply of prawn rings.

2
+2
-0
A real life tyrannosaurus rex's picture
2

Mostly geothermal but also some hydroelectric and fossil fuel.

So yes, quite literally they harness the power of volcanoes.

1
+1
-0
Tovias's picture
75

So they are building real life space ships with the aluminium or not?

1
+1
-0
Empyre's picture
113

I'll never look at a Thorax in the same way again! :(

-4
+1
-5
Kacho Mio Akiyama's picture
4

This is one of the stupidest articles I have ever read. I lost brains cells looking at the stupid drawings, that wasted the dev's time

2
+3
-1
Dog Pants's picture
908

I hope Steve takes this as a massive compliment.

1
+2
-1
Fraser Brown's picture
417

But did you like it?

1
+1
-0
Jonah The Bear's picture
10

I thought it was very informative, I learned some eve history and some things about iceland's industry

Alienware - Game VictoriousNvidia Shield - Titanfall
We're giving away copies of EVE: True Stories, so you can own a bit of New Eden history

EVE Online

We're giving away copies of EVE: True Stories, so you can own a bit of New Eden history

EVE Online is altering the laws of physics to allow capital ships to fit through stargates

EVE Online is altering the laws of physics to allow capital ships to fit through stargates

Clarion Call 4 is an impressive player-made EVE Online propaganda film

Clarion Call 4 is an impressive player-made EVE Online propaganda film

CCP rework wormholes in Eve Online's third mini-expansion: Hyperion

CCP rework wormholes in Eve Online's third mini-expansion: Hyperion

CCP producer wants to empower EVE Online players and bring in new ones

CCP producer wants to empower EVE Online players and bring in new ones

EVE Online's going through its own Industrial Revolution with the launch of Crius

EVE Online's going through its own Industrial Revolution with the launch of Crius

Huge super capital fight in EVE Online obliterates 500 billion ISK in ships

EVE Online

Huge super capital fight in EVE Online obliterates 500 billion ISK in ships

Eve Online Crius expansion brings enough industrial change to yield

Eve Online Crius expansion brings enough industrial change to yield "good-old fashioned space conflict"

CCP hit with more layoffs; another 49 employees lose their jobs

CCP hit with more layoffs; another 49 employees lose their jobs

EVE Online gets the first of 10 mini-expansions, Kronos; Crius now due out a month early

EVE Online gets the first of 10 mini-expansions, Kronos; Crius now due out a month early

CCP are

CCP are "playing with the big boys" to bring Eve Online to TV

Avert your eyes: EVE Online is getting new solar flares in Kronos patch

Avert your eyes: EVE Online is getting new solar flares in Kronos patch

Looking back at EVE Fanfest 2014: space trucks, MMA fighters and virtual reality

Project Legion

Looking back at EVE Fanfest 2014: space trucks, MMA fighters and virtual reality

History in the making: Andrew Groen's Eve Online chronicle funded seven times over

History in the making: Andrew Groen's Eve Online chronicle funded seven times over

EVE Online: PLEX Activation Codes kill off EVE Time Codes and usurp their position

EVE Online: PLEX Activation Codes kill off EVE Time Codes and usurp their position

EVE: Valkyrie lead designer wants the dogfighter to be Halo for the Oculus Rift

EVE: Valkyrie lead designer wants the dogfighter to be Halo for the Oculus Rift

It's not the size that counts: EVE Online does away with big expansions

It's not the size that counts: EVE Online does away with big expansions

CCP condemn Eve monument vandalism:

CCP condemn Eve monument vandalism: "What's happened is absolutely disgusting"

What the hell is Project Legion? And is it replacing Dust 514?

Project Legion

What the hell is Project Legion? And is it replacing Dust 514?

Eve Online monument defaced within week of its unveiling

Eve Online monument defaced within week of its unveiling

Eve trailer draws MMO, Valkyrie, and Legion together with pretty CGI

Eve trailer draws MMO, Valkyrie, and Legion together with pretty CGI

Win an EVE Source book by spinning us a yarn

Win an EVE Source book by spinning us a yarn

Become a recruitment mercenary with the EVE Online Recall Program

Become a recruitment mercenary with the EVE Online Recall Program

CCP will still release Eve: Valkyrie as a Rift launch title:

CCP will still release Eve: Valkyrie as a Rift launch title: "We're very excited for Oculus"