Baldur’s Gate 3 is a pretty complex game so it’s not surprising that bugs have cropped up. And Larian has been on the ball squashing most of them. But there’s one glitch which, like Astarion’s X-rated bug before it, has left an NPC with a little too much on display. Be warned, you might need the goggles for this one.
But, hey, it’s not the worst thing that could happen in this fantasy RPG game. I just didn’t expect that, a month or so later, another X-rated BG3 bug would have me reaching for the eye-bleach, just as the huge Baldur’s Gate 3 patch 4 arrives.
As discovered by a couple of unfortunate Reddit users, there’s a glitch that can have walking corpse Withers turn up minus his clothing. They’ve only taken pictures from the rear but I now know that this undead sorcerer has an actual ass.
Sure, you can talk about forbidden knowledge, people being driven mad the merest glimpse of some eldritch abomination. But this is the sight I’m going to take to my grave, that of Grandpa Cenobite strutting his stuff in the nude.
But what’s occupying my mind isn’t just the sight itself, it’s that someone on Larian’s team went to the trouble of modeling that ass, even though there was, barring this bug, zero chance it’d be seen.
Did they volunteer for that job? Or did their boss just start handing out assignments, then hear them running after them because “nude zombie sorcerer” was on their job list?
I’ll probably never know – which, on reflection, is a blessing. But what is interesting is some of the responses to the Reddit thread.
“My game design teacher always said ‘if there’s even a slight chance the player might see it, you wanna make sure it’s modeled,'” explains one Redditor.
Another, possibly Quentin Tarantino, suggests that Spellforce 3’s soldiers had highly-detailed, modelled feet but they were removed because it slowed the game down and they wore boots. I can’t find a source for that story, but it’s not a million miles away from the alleged (and developer-denied) Cities: Skylines 2 teeth story.
Still, I can rest assured in the knowledge that you, too, have seen Withers’ ass and that, short of some kind of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind procedure, it’ll live in your brain forever.
If you’re just starting out on your Baldur’s Gate 3 journey, check out our list of the best Baldur’s Gate 3 builds. And here’s the best Baldur’s Gate 3 companions who you should be taking with you on your quest.